


5 Times Sam Was Consumed By His Brother

by samidha



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Drabble Collection, F/M, M/M, POV Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-09
Updated: 2011-04-09
Packaged: 2018-12-12 20:44:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11744841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samidha/pseuds/samidha
Summary: Need, jealousy, lust, fear, acceptance.





	5 Times Sam Was Consumed By His Brother

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for a commentfic meme in a wincest comm I didn't usually frequent, so I can't remember any context here.

1\. (Need)

Sam hates hospitals. Not because of the beeps and whirs, the squeak of nurse’s shoes, or the white, white walls. He turns onto his side, stretches out his IV arm uncomfortably so it doesn’t pull, and he thinks of Dean, warm and firm and muscled, love seeping out of him to curl around his younger brother like a blanket just out of the drier, like the best, softest cuddle in the world. Sam knows without a doubt that Dean loves him, all of him, down to the molecules that hold him together. It’s settled, then: he needs Dean.

2\. (Jealousy)

Probably a lot of girls have come before her. Sam tries not to think about those things. Which is fine, because when Sam thinks of Rhonda Hurley, he feels a white hot rage, peppered with jealousy so strong it makes Sam go weak. Weak in the knees was always an expression to him before the day he saw them together and it nearly knocked him flat. There was Dean, all smiles and soft-voiced. Whispering in her ear. He doesn’t know how he knows, but he does: Dean would do anything for her. Sam hates her like nothing else.

3\. (Lust)

The sunlight filters in through the window at Pastor Jim’s. Dean stands tall and proud, leather gleaming in the summer warmth. His eyes sparkle green green green and his hair shines in the light and something catches in Sam’s gut, makes him hold back a shiver even though he isn’t cold. He’s never been so not-cold in his life. He bites his lip and says nothing, not about the fact that Dean and Dad left him for half the summer, not about the pride shining off of Dean after a long, successful hunt. He won’t say, ”You’re beautiful.”

4\. (Fear)

Sam knows this is wrong. Knows it down deep in the pit of his stomach, in the soles of his feet, in the very, very bottom of his heart. He knows that it can’t be right, the way he wants to be close, needs to be, that he thinks of no one else the way he thinks of Dean, and he knows no one else at school talks about their family the way Sam wants to talk about Dean. He listens to the kids at school as they gossip and gush. He knows he can never do the same.

5\. (Acceptance)

It isn’t about gay or straight, or anything in between. It’s about soft leather and classic rock, the smell of earth, of beer, of blood and victory, adrenaline and fear, gun oil and smoke, eyes sparkling in the half-light and the arm that goes around his shoulder, the comfort that seeps all the way through him. It’s about coming back from the edge of death time and again. Can’t lose you, can’t, knowing what lurks in the night, and what can be taken so easily. It’s about being tied together in endless secrecy and silence. It is, suddenly, about love.


End file.
